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This Page was last reviewed and changed on June 23rd 2021
Content Overview
It is devastating to watch someone you care about suffer with alcoholism. To see them deteriorate before your very own eyes is heartbreaking. Do not despair though, although you may feel unable to help, there is much that you can do.
Although you can’t save them, you will be able to support them and guide them through these difficult times and help them make the choices that will hopefully set them up on the path of recovery.
To truly understand whether or not your friend has a problem with alcohol, you will need to understand what addiction is. According to healthline.com, ‘Alcoholism has been known by a variety of terms, including alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. Today, it’s referred to as alcohol use disorder. It occurs when you drink so much that your body eventually becomes dependent on or addicted to alcohol. When this happens, alcohol becomes the most important thing in your life.
People with alcohol use disorder will continue to drink even when drinking causes negative consequences, like losing a job or destroying relationships with people they love. They may know that their alcohol use negatively affects their lives, but it’s often not enough to make them stop drinking.
Below we have listed a number of signs that could indicate that your friend is suffering from an alcohol use disorder:
It can be really difficult to know how to talk to a friend about their drinking habits. You don’t want to come across as judgemental or accusatory, but equally, you want to be able to say how you’re feeling and hope that your message gets through. We have listed a number of tips to help you approach your friend who is drinking too much:
Arrange to have a proper heart-to-heart – it’s not going to be easy to bite the bullet and talk to your friend about alcoholism, however if you do it with empathy, sensitivity and compassion, you may well be the influence that begins the tide of change in your friend’s life. It’s obviously best to talk to your friend whilst they are sober, so try to arrange a time, probably in the morning, where you can meet, that is quiet and you are alone and unlikely to be interrupted. Your friend should feel safe in the space, so perhaps at their house, or somewhere the two of you regularly go.
Don’t judge or accuse – speak to your friend with love and compassion, you are more likely to see a positive outcome for your friend if you love them well, rather than try to beat them with their own perceived failings.
Discuss treatment options – There are a number of resources available, both on the NHS and privately, that can help your friend. Talk through the options together, reinforcing that you will be there to support your friend every step of the way, whichever way they choose to go from here.
The only real way to help your friend into treatment is to support them fully once they’ve made the decision to go in. It’s not an easy decision for anyone to make, and often outside responsibilities can be used as an excuse not to access a treatment centre. If you make it clear to your friend that you will support them in any way that they need whilst they are in treatment, it could make their decision to start the process much easier.
You can also help your friend research the options that are available to them. Discuss what they feel they need and look online to find the options that are most suited to your friends individual requirements.
We are lucky in the UK to have the choice between private alcohol treatment and the NHS funded options. Obviously, the NHS options will be cheaper and, in most cases, local to where your friend lives. They will be able to access treatment through the NHS during the day and spend the night at home.
However, the disadvantages with NHS treatment is that there is often a lengthy admissions process, your friend may not be seen for weeks, or even months after he has first asked for an appointment with his GP. Secondly, often treatment on the NHS will only be once a week, leaving your friend to fend for themselves and stave away their cravings on their own the other 6 days.
On the other hand private rehabs, although more expensive and potentially a further distance from where your friend lives, offer next day admissions. The number of therapies available are much more diverse. The therapists in a private treatment centre will also be the same for the duration of your friends stay, which offers continuity – something extremely important in order to build trust. Finally, it is also much more likely that your friend will create bonds with other people seeking recovery. Feeling part of a recovery community is vital, especially in the early days of recovery. As most private rehabs offer good aftercare treatment, this sense of community can continue long after your friend leaves rehab.
A binge drinker is someone who drinks excessively at specific times but is not dependent on alcohol. An alcoholic is a person whose body and mind are dependent.
You are probably already aware that you cannot force someone with alcoholism to get help if this person is not ready, but you can try to convince him or her that this help is required. Talk to the person and explain the harm that his or her actions are causing to their life and the lives of others. Remind him or her of the importance of getting help and, if necessary, issue an ultimatum. However, if you do this, it is important that you are prepared to follow through on it.
1. https://www.healthline.com/health/alcoholism/basics – Accessed 28/1/2020
2. https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ – Accessed 28/1/2020